100
Well here it is, the 100th post. I'll be honest with you, although I wanted to, I never really thought I would make it this far. I thought I would have given up a long time ago. Yet here I am, 100 posts later.
When I started this blog, I thought that if I made it to the 100th post, I would write something good, something uplifting, something positive. I thought that i would be able to write about something good in my life. The truth is, now that I am here, I really don't know what to write. In fact, the last few posts I had to struggle to write something. And perhaps I haven't been too honest, Trying to paint a rosy tinge over the actuality that is my life.
I have been sitting at this laptop for almost 2 and a half hours now, figuring out what to write. I have typed out several drafts, things I thought I wanted to say, but every time, when I got to the end I realized that the words were false, they are not what is in my heart, they are not the truth. I have been scared to write about the truth that is in me. Why I don't know, maybe I can't bare to face it, but here it is. Out in the open for all to see. I can't run from it now.
So maybe this post isn't what I intended at the beginning. But if I can't tell the truth here, in relative anonymity, where can I? At least this IS the truth.
For those of you who have stayed here this long, I thank you, although I have never met you, the fact that you have gotten to know me means more then you will ever know. For those of you who have just seen this, I will tell you that this is just the beginning of who I am, this train wreck goes a long way back. To all, I say if you do chose to stick around, I can not promise you great writing, I can not promise you happy themes. All I can promise you is more of the same, more of a look deeper into my soul. It may not be pretty, in fact it may be disturbing at times, but it is all that I am, and that is all I can offer.
When I started this blog, I thought that if I made it to the 100th post, I would write something good, something uplifting, something positive. I thought that i would be able to write about something good in my life. The truth is, now that I am here, I really don't know what to write. In fact, the last few posts I had to struggle to write something. And perhaps I haven't been too honest, Trying to paint a rosy tinge over the actuality that is my life.
I have been sitting at this laptop for almost 2 and a half hours now, figuring out what to write. I have typed out several drafts, things I thought I wanted to say, but every time, when I got to the end I realized that the words were false, they are not what is in my heart, they are not the truth. I have been scared to write about the truth that is in me. Why I don't know, maybe I can't bare to face it, but here it is. Out in the open for all to see. I can't run from it now.
So maybe this post isn't what I intended at the beginning. But if I can't tell the truth here, in relative anonymity, where can I? At least this IS the truth.
For those of you who have stayed here this long, I thank you, although I have never met you, the fact that you have gotten to know me means more then you will ever know. For those of you who have just seen this, I will tell you that this is just the beginning of who I am, this train wreck goes a long way back. To all, I say if you do chose to stick around, I can not promise you great writing, I can not promise you happy themes. All I can promise you is more of the same, more of a look deeper into my soul. It may not be pretty, in fact it may be disturbing at times, but it is all that I am, and that is all I can offer.
posted by The Cube at 9:39 PM
3 Comments:
So what is the truth that is in you?
Alis
The Cube,
I must confess that your blog has quickly become one of my favorites, and I think you have pinpointed why--your writing seems so honest and open, two qualities that I really admire in writers (and people, for that matter). Of course, I realize that I don't even have insight into your real name, but that doesn't matter b/c your writing is so real--it is reflective, insightful, expressive, etc--and therefore, it is good.
All good writing (in my opinion) comes from some foundation of truth, and I do hope you continue to express your own. And, I have been meaning to ask you this for a while, but may I add you to my links list?
Thank you laurie, I would be honoured if you want to add me to your list.
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