Not Invited
The other night, I was taking to a friend, "Maddy" when someone else I know, "Mindy" came up. The entire time she just spoke directly to Maddy and said that there was going to be a party today.
Well today is here, and Maddy just called and asked if I was going. I said no because I wasn't invited. She then said that she thought I was because I was there when Mindy asked and she said that she would call to find out. I said no, and that I had other plans, which is a lie, because I am doing nothing.
Maybe I am wrong here, but I am of the impression that unless you are invited to an event you don't just crash it assuming you were. I've always been like that, and since I wasn't asked if I to go, I assumed that I wasn't invited.
Does it suck, yes, I am sitting here doing nothing while others are out having fun. Maybe it is my pride getting in the way, I could find out if I was invited, but if I wasn't, then what, i would look like some loser. Sure I may get invited but then it would just be out of awkwardness, or pity, and I would just end up being the butt if jokes behind my back. I don;t want anyones pity, I want people to want me around because they really want me to. Maybe that means I miss out, but I still have my dignity, besides, if they don't want me there, I'm not missing anything, right?
Well today is here, and Maddy just called and asked if I was going. I said no because I wasn't invited. She then said that she thought I was because I was there when Mindy asked and she said that she would call to find out. I said no, and that I had other plans, which is a lie, because I am doing nothing.
Maybe I am wrong here, but I am of the impression that unless you are invited to an event you don't just crash it assuming you were. I've always been like that, and since I wasn't asked if I to go, I assumed that I wasn't invited.
Does it suck, yes, I am sitting here doing nothing while others are out having fun. Maybe it is my pride getting in the way, I could find out if I was invited, but if I wasn't, then what, i would look like some loser. Sure I may get invited but then it would just be out of awkwardness, or pity, and I would just end up being the butt if jokes behind my back. I don;t want anyones pity, I want people to want me around because they really want me to. Maybe that means I miss out, but I still have my dignity, besides, if they don't want me there, I'm not missing anything, right?
posted by The Cube at 12:42 PM
1 Comments:
I understand what you mean and think you did the right thing, even though, chances are the girls lack of social skills was probably more of the culprit than anyone not wanting you there.
I have been the one uninvited. I have gone to a party once where I clearly had been forgotten to be placed on the orginal guestlist, and I wish I would have stayed home, even doing nothing. I knew that peopel did not MIND I was there, but the knowledge that I was a second thought, literally, was hard. Harder because the friend having the party would have been at the top of my list, if it would have been my party--I LOVED this person. At the time, the whole ordeal was just so awkward that I went anyways, trying to be cool and not to seem upset, but that made it even worse. I felt like I needed to make up for the fact that I was orignally univited, trying to make my host less awkward. I wished I would have stayed home--there was no having fun under the circumstances. I made up an excuse to leave early.
More and more, I understand what it means to feel like you want to retreat into friendships with people who really love you and want to be with you.
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