Fire

This Saturday I'm am supposed to go up north with some of the family for a big bonfire. Nothing fancy, we just all go up north to my uncle's farm. We have a couple of barbecues, and we cook up some chicken and steaks and what not, and sit around a huge fire in the middle of a field. I've always enjoyed it, then again I have always liked fire. No, I am not a pyro, I just love the look, the warmth, the raw emotion that fire conveys. It can be life giving and destructive at the same time.

That duplicity has always fascinated me. In a way it has been indictive of my whole life, some of my most destructive experiences has shaped me in to the man I am today. Yet some of my choices, ones that have put me on a better course, have been emotionally devastating.

If I am not making any sense, it is because I am still trying to figure out what it is I want to say. More importantly, I am still trying to figure out what to do. We all have choices to make in life, and I am know that I will have to make some soon. I have to figure out where I am going, and if it is even possible to get there. I have been burned so many times that I really am scarred to make any decision. Such is the bane of being conditioned to be a pessimist, I really can only see the bad that may come. I think I need this little trip to clear my thoughts. Maybe in the fire there will be clarity.