The Smell Of Failure

Sometimes I feel as if I have become far to jaded when it comes to failure. It's not that I am addicted to it, far from it. I hate failing. But it seams that over the years I have become used to it. It seams that for every step I take, I fall two back. I meet with failure on almost everything I set out. Well not exactly. I have succeded, but every success comes with a heavy price. Every win comes with a small loss.

Maybe it is my outlook on things. I consider myself a realist, which is just an optimistic way of saying that I am a pessimist. I do tend to look at where things may go wrong. Maybe that is why things tend to go south all the time.

Yet try as I may I can't get out of this funk. The stench of it surounds me. And over time I have just gotten used to it. When things go wrong, I just let it roll off my back. I guess in a way it is good, it shows that I can just plow on dispite the bad things that come. But there is a down side to it as well. I am depressed a lot. I amy be jaded to it, but I am more keenly aware of failure than maybe I should be. That is what hurts. That is what probebly prevents me from reaching my loftiest goals.

To hell with it! I rather go down swinging that never entering the ring. Better to fail, than to never start right? At least if I do fail, it wont be such a shock.