Realizations
I thought that I would go out for a little run before diner tonight. I didn't get very far though. About 1 km in I decided to sit for a second while I tied my shoe, and I just sat there on that log for the next couple of hours. I sat there watching the sun set, the moon rise, and the stars come out. I just sat there taking it all in, thinking, about the recent circumstances in my life. It didn't matter how long I was there for, there was nothing else to do tonight anyways.
As the light of day faded, I began to wonder if really all the problems I face were of my own doing. I used to think that maybe it was all just a test. That God or something was trying me, to prepare me for something later on in life. But now I am not so sure. Don't get me wrong, I still do believe in God. It's just that I don't see how my issues are related to a higher purpose.
In a way it is a crash back down to earth. It is very flattering to think that there is a special purpose for your life. Yet who am I to display such hubris? There is nothing special about me, I am just an average guy, with average problems, who just seams to take them more seriously than he probably should. Well there is probably nothing that I can do about it, seeing that is who I am.
As the light of day faded, I began to wonder if really all the problems I face were of my own doing. I used to think that maybe it was all just a test. That God or something was trying me, to prepare me for something later on in life. But now I am not so sure. Don't get me wrong, I still do believe in God. It's just that I don't see how my issues are related to a higher purpose.
In a way it is a crash back down to earth. It is very flattering to think that there is a special purpose for your life. Yet who am I to display such hubris? There is nothing special about me, I am just an average guy, with average problems, who just seams to take them more seriously than he probably should. Well there is probably nothing that I can do about it, seeing that is who I am.
posted by The Cube at 8:31 PM
2 Comments:
"It's just that I don't see how my issues are related to a higher purpose."
My take on it would be that this is because you don't know your purpose yet.
"It is very flattering to think that there is a special purpose for your life. Yet who am I to display such hubris? There is nothing special about me, I am just an average guy, with average problems, who just seams to take them more seriously than he probably should. Well there is probably nothing that I can do about it, seeing that is who I am."
I am getting the impression that you are just begging someone *Someone* to contradict these statements.
There was once a person, an average person with average problems. That average person became an average person with a purpose. And a purpose is never average.
I don't recall you mentioning your purpose much in your blogs. What have you thought about it? How have your thoughts changed as your life carries on? What has affected how you see your purpose?
Alis
You have hit on the heavy questions, and when I am there, I sometimes find the most solace in the simplest responses. Your post made me think of this poem by Emily Dickinson:
"If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Into his nest again,
I shall not live in vain."
Post a Comment
<< Home