Louder Now

What a crazy week it has been, work has been insanely busy and I've been working a lot of overtime. At least the week ended well. I went to the Taking Back Sunday concert last night with some friends. I had a blast, but it was more from the company than the actual show. A and J came, so did "Kay", "Tyrone", and "Janey". It was the first time I actually got to spend time with her since the party. And this is where the whole point of this post lies.

I guess in order to make sense of it all I should start at the beginning. Despite suggestions to the contrary, I am a hopeless romantic at heart. This has been my downfall on far too many occasions than I care to admit. It always turns out that when I get interested in a girl, I begin to daydream. In the pointless wanderings of my mind, I begin to picture my future with whomever I am interested in at the time. This does not bode well when the relationship ends (or occasionally does not really begin). I always thought that this may contribute to my bad luck, perhaps I put too much pressure on myself. At any rate, when I realized that I was starting to have a little crush on Janey, I decided that I would not do that with her. I wanted to keep things in the present, I wanted to keep things realistic. It hasn't been easy.

After the party I told A and J that I thought she was cute, and that I wanted to invite her to the concert. They didn't say anything, so I did invite her. At the concert, we had a great time. Sometimes it is hard to stay together when your at an event like that, you get separated in the crowd, and you find each other in between sets. Well We lost everyone else, but Janey and I stayed together the whole show. When the crowd started moshing I held her close so she wouldn't fall. It was a fantastic night.

But like all good things there is always a flaw. After we dropped Tyrone, Kay, and Janey off, A and J said they wanted to talk to me. J said "I know you said you liked Janey, but if I were you I'd keep away." They didn't want to tell me more, but I pushed them. Finally they said that Tyrone also likes her, and that he knew her longer than I did. Maybe they were saying that I may be fighting a losing cause, and that very well may be true. They may be trying to spare my feelings. Their concern may be genuine. But frankly all it did was get me angry. A and J are my closest friends, my best friends, even though at times they have not been very good friends to me. I know that Tyrone is a good guy and all, but I expected that they would support me over him. I guess I am in the fight all alone now.

As far as I'm concerned, all is fair in love and war, and I am ready to fight. I'm no lion, but I will be heard. Yes I very well may lose. Like I said, Tyrone is a good guy, and he has charisma up to here. But even if I do lose out on Janey, I will have given it the best shot. If that isn't enough, then obviously her and I aren't meant to be.