Conversations
First of all I want to thank Laurie and DW for your advice, it was very helpful. I also talked about it to a friend who was able to kind of put things in perspective. Getting advice from both sides of the problem got me to see a lot that I was missing, so thanks again.
I had realized early on that I couldn't just procrastinate on this, I had to figure something to say. I thought about it and realized that I just couldn't go to the wedding. I know that maybe it would have brought some closure, maybe it would have answered some questions, maybe it would have let me move on, but I don't know how I would have handled the very sight of it all. I think that I am a mature enough man to hang out with K, I think I am big enough to spend time with her and Adrian. But that day, that wedding would just be asking too much, even if it is Mel doing the asking. I would do just about anything for her, but I just can't do this.
However I still had to explain all that to her. I didn't know how to say though, so I took what you will call the cowards way. I called up a friend, and asked him what he was doing that weekend. We set it up that we would go away to Ottawa that weekend, and because he is moving 2 weeks after that, I justified it by saying it is our last trips before he leaves. Honestly, we weren't that close that I would have thought about it, but well, think of it what you will, it is what I did.
I called Mel up yesterday and asked if she wanted to go out to dinner. I figured it would be a good time to talk to her, just me and her. It was a fun evening, and at desert I broke the news that I wouldn't be able to go to the wedding. I explained that I was going with my friend, that it would be the last time, etc, etc, etc.... I could tell that she saw through it. So I told her everything that I said above. I said that I wish I was able to do it for her, I wish that I had that strength, but I didn't.
We had a good talk, and it was such a relief to get some of those things off my chest. I can also say that, by having that talk, by opening myself up to her, we moved a step forward in our relationship. What happens next, we'll have to see.
I had realized early on that I couldn't just procrastinate on this, I had to figure something to say. I thought about it and realized that I just couldn't go to the wedding. I know that maybe it would have brought some closure, maybe it would have answered some questions, maybe it would have let me move on, but I don't know how I would have handled the very sight of it all. I think that I am a mature enough man to hang out with K, I think I am big enough to spend time with her and Adrian. But that day, that wedding would just be asking too much, even if it is Mel doing the asking. I would do just about anything for her, but I just can't do this.
However I still had to explain all that to her. I didn't know how to say though, so I took what you will call the cowards way. I called up a friend, and asked him what he was doing that weekend. We set it up that we would go away to Ottawa that weekend, and because he is moving 2 weeks after that, I justified it by saying it is our last trips before he leaves. Honestly, we weren't that close that I would have thought about it, but well, think of it what you will, it is what I did.
I called Mel up yesterday and asked if she wanted to go out to dinner. I figured it would be a good time to talk to her, just me and her. It was a fun evening, and at desert I broke the news that I wouldn't be able to go to the wedding. I explained that I was going with my friend, that it would be the last time, etc, etc, etc.... I could tell that she saw through it. So I told her everything that I said above. I said that I wish I was able to do it for her, I wish that I had that strength, but I didn't.
We had a good talk, and it was such a relief to get some of those things off my chest. I can also say that, by having that talk, by opening myself up to her, we moved a step forward in our relationship. What happens next, we'll have to see.
posted by The Cube at 12:38 PM
3 Comments:
Well, that turned out better than I expected! It seems you got the best of both worlds: your relationship is still on & you don't have to go to the wedding.
Glad you were honest with her about it.
Alis
Good for you!
I can't imagine going to the wedding either. Too rough. I hope it works with Mel!
No matter what happens or dosen't happen, I am SO glad to know that you were open with her. Your honesty here speaks so much of you.
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