Big Mouth Strikes Again
Just when everything was starting to turn around, and get better, I have to open my big mouth and wreck it all. Typical. I was finaly starting to fit in but of course all good things have to end, I just wished it would at least get started. I am still ticked off about the New Brunswick incident. And that was the catalyst that started this.
Every year a couple of us get together and go camping for a few days up in Algonquin Park. It's not much but it is one of the highlights of my year. It is an opritunity to get away from the crisis that is my life and this society, and soak in nature. Dispite up having to cannoe and portage for miles to get to our campsite, and have to bring everything in on our backs, and not having any luxeries (the toilet is a hole in the ground that we have to dig ourselves) it is very relaxing and almost spiritual.
Well like every year I started planing the trip, and everything seamed fine. Until 2 weeks before we were to go. It was sunday night and a bunch of us were out at the pub for wings. Some other friends came who are close to A and J. As soon as they got there they started to tell us about this trip they were planing on going. 10 of them were going to go to New Brunswick that weekend. That in itself is fine, I had no problems about that, however I did have a problem in what was to happen.
They then asked what A and J were doing that weekend, they said nothing. So they asked if they wanted to go with them. A said that they couldn't get that weekend off because the next weekend they were going camping with me and "Dan". That is when things started to go south. They had the odacity to say cancel your camping trip and to go with them. They actualy said that in frount of me. Then they started to presure me by saying for me to do them a favor and let them go. They wanted me to put my life on hold, cancel my trip so that they can have fun. That is a slap in the face. "Oh don't worry, we want to go and have fun, but you have to stay at home." It made me feel really small. I'm not saying that they had to invite me, though that would have been nice. I understand if they couldn't have me come along, but they at least could have thought what I felt about it. Well I didn't say anything that night. Afterwards though A and J asked me if it would be ok, however no matter what I would have said they were going to go. So I had to cancel my trip.
A few months have gone by and the incident was forgotten. I've hung out with the guys that went, and everything started to seem cool. But the other day I was talking to a friend, and he brought up the topic of the trip. And that is when I opened my mouth. I told him everything that happened from my point of view, and that I didn't think much about the guys that did it to me. Of course I used more colourfull language. What I didn't know is that he is a close friend to those guys, and he told them everything I said. I still don't know what the whole fall out will be but I can bet it wont be good.
I have to get out of this place. My mouth has wrecked any chance of redemption in this life. Now I probebly allianated the few friends I had, even if they weren't very good ones. I need a fresh start, I need new people. I can't go on like this. The unfortunate part is that no matter where I go my big mouth will be there with me, waiting to strike.
Every year a couple of us get together and go camping for a few days up in Algonquin Park. It's not much but it is one of the highlights of my year. It is an opritunity to get away from the crisis that is my life and this society, and soak in nature. Dispite up having to cannoe and portage for miles to get to our campsite, and have to bring everything in on our backs, and not having any luxeries (the toilet is a hole in the ground that we have to dig ourselves) it is very relaxing and almost spiritual.
Well like every year I started planing the trip, and everything seamed fine. Until 2 weeks before we were to go. It was sunday night and a bunch of us were out at the pub for wings. Some other friends came who are close to A and J. As soon as they got there they started to tell us about this trip they were planing on going. 10 of them were going to go to New Brunswick that weekend. That in itself is fine, I had no problems about that, however I did have a problem in what was to happen.
They then asked what A and J were doing that weekend, they said nothing. So they asked if they wanted to go with them. A said that they couldn't get that weekend off because the next weekend they were going camping with me and "Dan". That is when things started to go south. They had the odacity to say cancel your camping trip and to go with them. They actualy said that in frount of me. Then they started to presure me by saying for me to do them a favor and let them go. They wanted me to put my life on hold, cancel my trip so that they can have fun. That is a slap in the face. "Oh don't worry, we want to go and have fun, but you have to stay at home." It made me feel really small. I'm not saying that they had to invite me, though that would have been nice. I understand if they couldn't have me come along, but they at least could have thought what I felt about it. Well I didn't say anything that night. Afterwards though A and J asked me if it would be ok, however no matter what I would have said they were going to go. So I had to cancel my trip.
A few months have gone by and the incident was forgotten. I've hung out with the guys that went, and everything started to seem cool. But the other day I was talking to a friend, and he brought up the topic of the trip. And that is when I opened my mouth. I told him everything that happened from my point of view, and that I didn't think much about the guys that did it to me. Of course I used more colourfull language. What I didn't know is that he is a close friend to those guys, and he told them everything I said. I still don't know what the whole fall out will be but I can bet it wont be good.
I have to get out of this place. My mouth has wrecked any chance of redemption in this life. Now I probebly allianated the few friends I had, even if they weren't very good ones. I need a fresh start, I need new people. I can't go on like this. The unfortunate part is that no matter where I go my big mouth will be there with me, waiting to strike.
posted by The Cube at 5:36 PM
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