Stop Being Anxious

"On this account I say to you: Stop being anxious about your souls as to what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your bodies as to what you will wear. Does not the soul mean more than food, and the body than clothing? Observe intently the birds of heaven, because they do not sow seed or reap or gather into storehouses, still your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not worth more than they are? Who of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his life? Also, on the matter of clothing, why are you anxious? Take a lesson from the lillies of the field, how they are growing. They do not toil nor do they spin, but I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory was arrayed as one of these. If now, God thus clothes the vegitation of the field, which is here today and tomorow is thrown into the fire, will he not much rather cloth you, you with little faith? So never be anxious and say "what are we to eat?" or "what are we to drink?" or "what are we to put on?" For all these things the nations are eagerly pursuing. FOr your heavenly father knows you need all these things. Keep on then seeking first the kingdom and his rightiousness, and all these other things will be added to you." Matthew 6:25-33

I have known this scripture since I was a little boy, and it has always stayed in my head. And I know the truth behind these words. There were times when I was down and out. But dispite the hard times, I was always taken care of. I learnt not to sweat the little thing, a cliche yes, but it is true. If you put God first, and work hard, things will eventualy work out.

Which is why this is so hard. I am not suffering. I have a job, I have enough to eat, and wear. I am comfortable financialy. Emotionaly on the other hand! I have been hurt by betrayal more times than I can count. It seams that I am alone on this path. And I try to put it out of my mind. I don't want to be anxious over these things, but even though the physical things like food and clothes I never worry about, the other things like what is happening to me socialy weigh like a millsone around my neck. I do every thing I can to cast it off, but I am still sinking. I hope this is a test, and that it soon will be over. He knows I can't take much more. But I am still determined to slug it out for as long as it takes, maybe than even peace of mind will be added to me too.

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By the way one of the reasons this is weighing on my mind is that I am going to talk to "K" this weekend. I need to find out what happened, just so I can move on. I'll update after I talk to her.