The Pursuit Of Happiness
This has been one hell of a week. All thanks to the events of last weekend. I will say that I did bring this upon myself, I knew I should have let the issue drop, K and I could go about our seperate lives and that would be that. But I had to find out where it went wrong, and I did not get the answer I intended to get. I am still trying to figure out what it all means. What is surprising is the funk that I have been in ever since I spoke to her. I've been so drained of energy. So moody. I'm not happy, and what is worse I can't feel happy for anyone or anything else, at least not this week.
Case in point, my brothers found out the other day that they got their aproval to go to South Africa for 2 months on an internship. It's been something they have been working to get for a while now. And yet, I don't feel happy for them. It's not that I am jelious, I'm not. I am very proud of them for getting it. But for some reason I just don't feel that happiness that I normaly would. The other day my brother A told me he and Kaly (this girl he is really interested in) tlaked and are now dating, officaly. Once again, I should feel happy for him, but I don't.
It bothers me that this is happening. I always feel good for others when they get some joyous news. Even if I am not involved, or even if it is at my expense. Once I liked this girl "Melissa". We went on a few dates, but nothing serious. After a few weeks, I found out that she was seeing my cousin, "Danny" Obviously Danny and me are not very close, in fact I really do not like the guy, he is an arogant punk, but that is besides the point. Even though I liked Melissa, and since she was seeing my cousin and it seamed pretty serious, I backed off. Andy you know what, I was truely happy for her. When they got married, I sent them a gift and yes I was happy for the both of them, they found happiness with each other, and I was glad. That's the way I am. (For the record Melissa didn't know Danny was my cousin at the time)
But this week, I just don't feel it. Maybe it is because these other joys, highlight the fact that there is really nothing good going on for me now. Maybe I am just reeling from the shock of what happened between K and me. I was really caught off guard. What ever it is I don't like it. I do want to be happy, even if it is for others. At least I got Leaf tickets for tomorow night. Maybe a little joy comming my way will snap me out of this funk.
Case in point, my brothers found out the other day that they got their aproval to go to South Africa for 2 months on an internship. It's been something they have been working to get for a while now. And yet, I don't feel happy for them. It's not that I am jelious, I'm not. I am very proud of them for getting it. But for some reason I just don't feel that happiness that I normaly would. The other day my brother A told me he and Kaly (this girl he is really interested in) tlaked and are now dating, officaly. Once again, I should feel happy for him, but I don't.
It bothers me that this is happening. I always feel good for others when they get some joyous news. Even if I am not involved, or even if it is at my expense. Once I liked this girl "Melissa". We went on a few dates, but nothing serious. After a few weeks, I found out that she was seeing my cousin, "Danny" Obviously Danny and me are not very close, in fact I really do not like the guy, he is an arogant punk, but that is besides the point. Even though I liked Melissa, and since she was seeing my cousin and it seamed pretty serious, I backed off. Andy you know what, I was truely happy for her. When they got married, I sent them a gift and yes I was happy for the both of them, they found happiness with each other, and I was glad. That's the way I am. (For the record Melissa didn't know Danny was my cousin at the time)
But this week, I just don't feel it. Maybe it is because these other joys, highlight the fact that there is really nothing good going on for me now. Maybe I am just reeling from the shock of what happened between K and me. I was really caught off guard. What ever it is I don't like it. I do want to be happy, even if it is for others. At least I got Leaf tickets for tomorow night. Maybe a little joy comming my way will snap me out of this funk.
posted by The Cube at 7:45 PM
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