The Forest

I was jogging last night, and I decided to take a different route than usual. When I jog I don't like to run on the street, I prefer to take trails, they are more interesting and more of a chalenge because of terain. Fortunatly there is the Credit Valley Conservation program near my house so I have a lot of trails to use. This time however I decided to go off the trails, just bushwack. MAn was I rewarded . The smell of the trees, the sound of the river, the outstanding hues of orange, red, pink, and purple from the setting sun, it was one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. I actualy stopped running and sat on a log and waited for the sun to go down. Of course that ment I had to run back in the dark, but the point was I saw something that I will never forget as long as I live.

I just wished that others could have been there to enjoy the moment. Everybody is always striving to acheive happiness, but they do it in the wrong way. They try to gain as much money as posible, engage in meaningless casual sex, do all sorts of activities, and buy all sorts of gadgets, when in the end the only things that are true happiness are the simple things. For me, for one brief moment joy was running through the forest at sunset, and I wouldn't trade that moment for anything in the world.

I'll just close my eyes for a second......

Today was the first time I fell asleep at work. I just woke up after an hour nap. It's funny, I can't get to sleep at night, but durring the day...?

I was looking for something in the storage room in the basement, it was in such a mess, and I had time to kill that I thought I would tidy up. So I started to through away some junk, put things on shelves, etc, when noticed something under a shelving unit. I sat on the grond to get it, it was an old radio. While I sat there seeing if it worked, I thought, maybe I'll just close my eyes for a second, seeing as they were sore from leaving in my contacts all night. The next thing I know its an hour later. The best part is no one even noticed. As far as they knew I was working in the basement.

The Sounds of Silence

What ever happened to the art of conversation? It's funny that no people can't just sit and talk anymore, they always have to do something. It's sad that we can't just talk about everything and nothing at the same time. I wonder if it is the changing aspect of our language. I read somewhere that even though we add new words each year, peoples vocabularys are smaller. Personaly I think it is our society. Everything is all rush rush. Instant gratification. Everything is complex that we don't take the time to enjoy the simple plesures of life. And the most simplest is talking, getting to realy know someone. I dread the day when all comunication will be done in mono-sylables, basic grunts. As for me I'll just sit and enjoy the conversations with anyone who bothers to take the time.

Guns of Brixton

Another iPod inspired post.

Was listening to The Clash and this line from the song Guns of Brixton got stuck in my head.

"When they kick at your front door
How you gonna come?
With your hands on your head
Or on the trigger of your gun?"

(Full Lyrics Here)

Thats a good question. Whats going to happen? The sad truth of the matter is that there is a revolution coming. I've been saying it for a while now. There is a lot of dissatisfaction, and I'm not talking about terrorism, that is just a bunch of radicals who have delusions of grandeur. No I'm talking about genuine, hard working, law abiding citizens. Its in Europe, the US, and even here in laid back Canada, you can see it everywhere if you look closely enough. People are over worked, and under paid. I just got a raise that just barely covers inflation, and that is remarkable. I know countless people who haven't had that in years. Add the rising costs of commodities, like gas, and people have less disposable cash than ever before. Of course the privledge few capitalists who own such companies are laughing their way to the bank, even the banks are laughing with their high service fees. But I digress, the rich get richer, and the rest of us get poorer.

There is no job security anymore, I know of a friend of a friend, who is in his 50's, he was laid off last week, down sizing. This after putting in 22 years for the company he worked for!

Whatever the companies don't take the government does. Taxes go up and up. In ontario, Dalton McGinty, our premier, campagned on literaly hunderads of promisies. One of which was that he would not lower taxes, but he wouldn't raise them either. He even signed a document stating so. Well among the rest of his broken promises, he actualy had the gall to start a new tax, on helth care!

Governments, under this spectre of teroism, are taking away are liberties and freedoms. The US is at the forefront of this.

All this spells one thing, a privleged fewwho have power feeding on the rest. For lack of better words, this system will soon evolve into a large group of proletariat workers, and bourgouis oligarchs. A wise man once said "we have the right to change our governments, and we should exercize that right as oftan as we can"

Well the ones in power will do everything to hold on to it. The question is, are we going to let them? Will we just let them take power unopposed, or will we fight them? The question is a personal one. Perhaps many agree with others providing rulership for them. Even if there is a revolution, it may very well fail. Yet it is far better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
All that from one song!

As an aside, was at a bonfire last night to say bye to people going back home to the 'peg, "its been great seeing you, have a safe trip."

Party!!!!

WOW that was a great party on sat.

What is it with all those people who just sit on the sides instead of dancing? I am by no means a good dancer, in fact I am pretty graceless. But at least I am out there the whole night. I find that nothing feels better than being in a crowd dancing until you can't. It doesn't matter if you are good or not, your just there having fun just like everyone else on the floor. People accept you for you, a person enjoying life. I wish life was more like that. In life everyone has to fit in to a predescribed mold in order to be accepted. Frankly it is sad, just like sitting on the side with a couple of people you know. It's not enjoying life. Life is not about fitting into a small set of standards, doing everything the same. It's about living, enjoying the moment, even if you don't know or like the song, you still keep dancing because you enjoy the act. Those who know will acept you for that because they are doing the same. Let the others sit on the side, the rest of us move to the music.

Remembering Ian

I just heard this short radio documentary on Ian Curtis and his band Joy Division. It was one of the saddest things I have ever heard. They were compleatly unapreciated and desperatly poor. At one point Ian had to give away his dog because he couldn't afford to feed him! It wasn't until after Ian died that the band got any recognition. In fact now they are concidered one of the most influencial bands in alt rock. In fact the remaining band members went on to form New Order. But still, for Ian Curtis, everything that he wanted only came after he died. Is that how it goes for us too? How many are unapreciated now? Will they finaly get the acceptance after they are gone? The old adage is true, "you don't know what you got till its gone" Its a shame though that we'll never know our true potential.

Where ever you are Ian, now you are missed.

R.I.P.

The Egyptians belived that if those who died are remembered, their spirit would live on. You were not really dead if people remembered you. I wonder if that is true in oposite. If you are still among the living, and are ignored, are you in essence dead? Can you truely be alive when you have been forgotten? The body may still be animated, but the spirit is dead. I guess none of us were ment to remain forever either in flesh or spirit, I just thought that the spirit would last longer. Wrong again.

Alea Iacta est.....

Well I have no choice now but to settle the mater, I have said we needed to talk and it has to be tonight. So for good or for ill, here I go..................

I'm telling

I almost feel bad confronting them later on tonight. It's like I'm the one starting the problems. But it's not me, they are the ones that started this, and I want it cleared up. I hope it goes the way I hope it goes. Otherwise things may get a lot worse.

Unkindest cut

Why is it that the ones closest to you hurt you the most? They cut the deepest because you never expect them. When Caesar saw it was his closest friends that were murdering him he gave up. Do I just let them stab me over and over again, or do I fight back? Do I risk losing the ones I love, or do I suffer with the pain?

To be or not to be patronized.

I'm trying to figure out what is worse, to be invited out by people because they feel sorry for you, or to stay at home and do nothing at all? To do nothing can drive one to madness with loneliness. Pity makes it feel fake and cheep. I guess you lose both ways.

The whipping boy

Why is it that people need some one to rag on all the time? We all have bad days, but do you have to take it out on some one else? Are you so small that you can't handle your own feelings of disapointment? I always thought that the only way to get through life is to celebrate the good and bottle up the bad. Lately there has been a lot of bad to bottle, but the point is you deal with the bad on your own, you be a man about it and either suffer through the unchangable, or fix the things you can. You don't cry about it, or make others pay for it. But that's not the way now I guess.

and it looks like I'm the focal point now for my fam. Well, it's better that I take it rather than some poor random waitress or something like that.

The cool uncool

Was at the Warped Tour over the weekend, which was a lot of fun. One thought however, there were so many people there just because they thought it was the cool place to be. They didn't like the music or the culture, they were there just so they can say that they were. To try and fit in with friends. Just because you can drop names like "the casulties", or "planet smashers" or you bought a NOFX t-shirt, doesn't mean your cool. Frankly nothing should. I love the music, but I don't dress like a punk because 1) I need to look profesional at work, and 2) I preffer not to draw attention to myself. The point is I go to these events because I like them, I listen to the music because it makes me feel good. If your doin it just because you want to go along with the crowd, than you shoulden't be there. Don't think your cool when you have sold your values for acceptance.

Random Thoughts

just random thoughts that go through my head late at night.

It's funny how lack of sleep can make you more cognizant of the world around you. Or maybe it's being truly aware of the world that keeps you up at night.